Relationship Goals

Relationship

1.     Before the Person

·      “Relationship goals” How many of us have relationship goals? We have all ideal for how we want how relationship to look like with others, whether is our marriage, or relationship with parents or parents with sibling. We know what is relationship, we understand but what is goal? The definition of Goal is: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim: end.

·      Many of us when it comes to relationship, we take whatever comes and do whatever is comfortable but we don’t want aim. If you don’t have aim, then you cannot have a goal. You cannot have relationship goals, if you are not aimed at the direction God has for you.

·      A target needs to be standing still. If we use popular culture as our barometer of what relationship should look like, that’s a moving target. Relationship/marriage looked different in each decade and dating/marriage looks so much different now. People have sex before marriage.

·      What God wants for every single one of us is to have relationship but we have to have a goal that is aimed at something that is stable. The only thing that is unchangeable or unweaving is the word of God. (Isaiah 40:8 says, the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.”) The word of God should be our standard for all our relationships, whether its our marriage, friendships or any other relationships in our life.

·      Let’s go to the beginning, Genesis 1:26: “Then God said, let us make human beings in our image, to be like us” (In NLT, it says ‘us’ other translations says “our”). In the beginning, before there was ever a person, there was relationship and there was conversation between the father, the son, the holy spirit. 

·      I was reading Genesis this week and I found something interesting. It will be a good trivia. When is the first time God said, “It is not good”. The very first time God said ‘it is not good’? Genesis 3 says, “God said let there be light and God saw that the light was good..” This goes on but in Genesis 2:18 says, “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Why would God say it is NOT good? Its like he already knew something about us that we didn’t.

·      God wants RELATIONSHIP for you. God did not intend for you to be alone, God created you to be in relationship with others. He does not want us to be isolated and alone because that’s where the enemy comes and attack. When you are isolated, the enemy becomes your best friend and lie to about all God’s plan for you. We believe the enemy’s lie and let it take root in us, which stops us from reaching purpose.

·      What God is saying is, if you have someone around you, they can point and say, “you are not fat.. you are just husky” Don’t believe the lie of the enemy.

·      God wants relationship for me! Can we all say that? God wants relationship for me. God knows the last one used you and left you but God wants relationship for you. He wants you to be in a marriage that works, that is surrounded by love, honesty and fun. Our God is a redeemer! whatever is broken or missed up, God said I will take all of that if you allow me to, I will work it for your good. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

·      You can tell if your relationship is from God, just by the qualification: does this relationship help you?  

·      God wants us to win and HE wants us to succeeded in relationship so he laid out a plan for us to succeed. The plan can be found in Genesis 2:8, “Then the LORD God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made.” The key word here is “placed” and “made”. Verse 9: “The LORD God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground—trees that were beautiful and that produced delicious fruit.” The key word here is “produce fruit”. Verse 15-18, “The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. But the LORD God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die. Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

·      Before the person, there are five things God wanted to give us before the person. He outlines it in Genesis 2:8-9 and Genesis 2:15-18. There are some things he wants to deposit into our life before anyone partners with us. Many times we expect people to take the place of what only God can give us.

·      What God desires to give you before the person: PLACE. God desire to place you in a place where he knows purpose can happen in your life but we desire to place ourselves. God created Eden and he placed Adam there. He placed you in that family, he placed you in that city, he placed you in that job or at home because there is something God wants to teach you and develop in you for your calling. But We fight the place so hard, we fight the job, people or church God placed us in.

·      The second thing What God desires to give you before the person: PLACE, PURPOSE. He placed Adam in Eden to tend the garden. If we ignore the place, then we don’t understand the purpose. We may say, “I hate being a stay-at-home mom” but God is saying, “I am trying to reveal the purpose. There is something I need you to learn.” When you start embracing the PLACE, then you will start embracing the PURPOSE. This was all before God gave Adam Eve (the person). Adam was PLACED there for his PURPOSE before he ever gave him Adam.

·      What God desires to give you before the person: Provision. Genesis 2:9 say, “The LORD God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground” Who made them grow up? The Lord. He supplies, where he calls us.

·      Our identify is found in Christ , not people.

·      “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” God gives PARAMETER.  Example : child

·      Place, purpose, provision, identify, parameter.

·      2 Peter 1:3, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

·      When you receive all this by coming to know him. We have to know the creator.

·      All you have to move things, spend more time with God: read Bible, by prayer, small group. When you are filled up with God but when the enemy comes to lie to you

·      Allow God to put you in a place, give you purpose, allow him to find your identity, allow him to be your provision, allow him to set the parameter. Allow him to fill you up.

·      If God isn’t enough, no person ever will be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7h5BHax06c

There is a series on Youtube called “Relationship Goals,” I shared part 1 of the series. You can watch all these following topics on Youtube:

2.     Single, Not Alone

3.     The Myth of Dating

4.     Major Keys to Marriage

5.     Panel Discussion

6.     Sex container

7.     Does Sex own you?

8.     Does “it” need to end?